When you’re a DILF lover, every day is fathers’ day.
With that in mind I thought I would celebrate today with a very special doll indeed.
Palm Beach Sugar Daddy Ken!
Alas he never went into circulation but just imagine…
He would fit right in, here on the Côte d’Azur with all the other sugar daddies but I fear his spiritual home is Palm Springs.
That jacquard jacket is so now. So me. So faboosh. And everyone loves a gay dog!
He was destined to come with some big glitzy shades and a pair of man-dals. Oh for a pair of man-dals!
The swim shorts I’m not so sure about. They leave way too much to the imagination.
Don’t you wish he was part of the collection?
Don’t you wish he worked at BOTD Towers?
I used to be a fragrance whore.
A new ad campaign=a new fragrance.
I’m easily swayed by an image of David Gandy in a pair of micro speedos.
…If I smell like him it is pretty much the same as going to the gym, right?
I’m the advertiser’s dream client.
Once upon a time, way back in 1993, Jean Paul Gaultier released that fragrance for women, in that iconic bottle.
The men’s fragrance, Le Male, arrived two years in its own super sexy bottle in the shape of a sailor’s torseau.
I was 12.
I was not allowed to wear perfume. And certainly not something so overtly sexual in its packaging and indeed it’s accompanying advertising campaigns.
I wanted it.
I wanted it bad.
I grew up.
I would occasionally catch a whiff of that sexy smell.
Walking down the street.
At a restaurant.
In a nightclub.
I never bought it.
I don’t think I felt sexy enough. In my mind it should only be worn by men (ideally sailors) who have a body the shape of the bottle.
Then last year I smelt something so sexy.
Familiar but new.
It was the summer edition of Le Male.
Even sexier than the original.
In an amazing tropical print bottle. A longer, leaner body.
I had to have it.
And so I bought it.
And in typical Limited Edition style I should have bought more than one bottle because sure enough, as summer faded, so too did that amazing smell.
Without a million push ups/pec implants I could never wear the original fragrance in its original bottle.
I had to wait…
And now it’s back. New again. But the nice lean body bottle. The same but different.
The lavender and mint are still there. A bit of cardamom. But now with a touch of vanilla which shouldn’t work but is somehow diffused by the addition of something green and grassy (green grass it says on the website).
Throw in another sexy redesign of the bottle, a kinda koi carp tattoo and I’m sold.
Or it’s sold. Two bottles! Sold!
Shhhhh. Don’t tell.
Oui, our guest!
We have friends arriving today!
I imagine they will look something like this as they step off the plane.. Maybe more beardy.
I’m too excited.
Summer is on.
The party has started.
BOTD Towers is where it’s at.
Won’t you join us?
And then there was another party!
My VF BFF, Tamsin celebrated her birthday too this weekend so it seemed like a great idea to drink our weight in champagne at our favourite haunt, the Welcome Hotel.
This is the before photo. The after photos were too messy and the during will be on YouTube before we can stop it.
Wow wow wow!
So yesterday was totes amazeballs. A bit bonkers. But c’est la vie. Birthdays are bonkers.
I had a lovely day of gym and tonic-the tonic being red wine at lunch followed by an evening of pink filth.
On the subject of pink.
I have an amazing new pink camera, courtesy of Mr F. It is quite simply fantastic as you’re sure to find out in upcoming photoshoots. These shots of Barbie on the balcony at BOTD Towers were taken today. No photoshop! Just a faboosh camera with a zillion pixel type things-let’s not get too technical. It is the perfect size and fits neatly dans ma poche. I’m in love.
Look out for some beautiful new photos here on BOTD and don’t forget you can follow me on Instagram which I have recently converted to/become obsessed with.
Pass the Botox!
I’m thirty today. Dirty 30. The big 3-0!
I was delighted to wake up and not find my bags packed and Mr F’s younger model waiting at the door. Maybe I’m not being replaced? Maybe I get to stay after all?
Happy Birthday to meeeee!
As mentioned previously here on BOTD, I love a tan.
It is of course the first sign of skin damage, makes you look like you work in the fields and terribly bad for ageing.
But as Kate Moss said to me the other day on the airport bus, “Nothing looks as good as being brown feels.”
Or words to that effect.
As the face, or body, of tanning giant, St Tropez she should know.
My fake tan days are behind me (for now) and have been replaced by vitamin D filled sun worshipping.
And I f*cking love it.
I don’t want to come across as a Barbie body fascist but there are worse things to be than skinny and tanned. My factor 50 friends may look younger than me, and with my big 3-0 birthday just days away I should care. But I don’t.
Take that butter out of your sandwich and slap it on your skin, fatty.
… But always wear cream on your face and wear a big hat. I may be blonde but I’m not dumb.
I don’t often find myself crying at the news-unlike the Olympics which I cried at almost every day, even now if you show me a picture of the cauldron I well up- but something happened this week that had me all of a blubber.
On Wednesday, here in my adoptive home of France, the first gay marriage took place.
Aptly, Vincent and Bruno said “Oui” in a thoroughly modern building in Montpellier. A very glamorous glass City Hall.
Despite the controversity, they said it was not a political wedding. They did it because they love each other and being married makes it easier to adopt. And they want a family. A no brainier of a wedding, really.
It made me cry. It made me really happy. It made me…
It’s a funny country really. Things seem to have changed a lot in the last six months.
It feels a little less safe for a big sparkly six foot something Barbie loving queen with fierce highlights and a penchant for colour blocking in citrus shades.
But this news made me think, just for a second, that maybe everything will work out alright.
What’s more. I love a wedding.
Not getting married myself, of course, not until I find the perfect wedding cake toppers anyway.
This is the closest I’ve got….
A feast for the eyes today on BOTD… But then isn’t every day?
Today though, a special treat for the gals/gays/swimwear lovers everywhere.
Things are hotting up here in France.
I have a general rule of not getting in the sea until June and not getting in after November, (remember that homophobic jellyfish attack, back in November 2011?) but the sea is looking damn inviting right now, out of the window of BOTD Towers.
So there really is no excuse. Only the eternal challenge of what to wear?
Handily, the people over at Aussiebum must have sensed my dilemma and sent me this video to “inspire” me…
Well I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling inspired. So inspired I think I might need a cold shower before I get into the hopefully not too cold Mediterranean.
I’m absolutely loving these op-art trunks.
Very LV on the escalators if you know what I mean.
Very Bridget Riley.
Very Versus Versace.
And very Ken, obv!
Barbie designer, Bill Greening, has created this amazing poolside collection for your favourite doll.
It’s everything a gal needs for a day by the pool or indeed on a yacht and is über glamorous.
Who better to model it then, than our über glamorous guest, Beauty and the Dirt.
Perfect for chillaxing on the BOTD yacht, whisking us between Cannes and Monte Carlo or simply anchoring here in the bay of Villefranche and nipping ashore to BOTD Towers whenever we fancy.
Can you believe all these stories coming out of Cannes about all this jewellery theft?
It’s awfully convenient to go along side the promotion of the new film Bling Ring but awfully inconvenient if you are one of the big jewellery houses being targeted.
But who could possibly be behind it….
Ooh hang on. My phone’s ringing…
It’s Beauty and the Dirt calling from her getaway car Cannes.